Trouble Between the Sheets: When ADD/ADHD Interferes with Intimacy
by A. Grano
While all relationships require effort to overcome challenges, sometimes barriers to effective communication are beyond a willing partner’s control. In cases of relationships with a person with ADD/ADHD, both parties need to exercise even more patience, tolerance and effort to maintain a healthy bond.
Intimacy has no switch that can be flipped on when one partner wishes to become intimate, and usually the setting and situation must feel right and comfortable before both partners can enjoy it.
Couples struggling with ADD/ADHD may deal with many challenges beyond typical relationship problems, such as wandering thoughts during intimate encounters, exhaustion from demands of coping with the disorder, rushing through or avoiding foreplay and affection, or becoming distracted when initial intentions were supposed to be focused on time with one’s partner.
Often times, ADD/ADHD sufferers have additional ailments that compound their condition, including depression,anxiety, and sleep disorders. These disorders can then lead to sexual performance anxiety, which can occur in both men and women.
Making adjustments to accommodate your partner can go a long way in helping improve sexual satisfaction. Be aware of all distractions and try to eliminate them… including things as simple as “mood music”, which can detract attention from a partner with ADD.
If a lack of sexual desire has become a problem in your relationship, there are many treatment options to explore depending on the underlying causes and specific symptoms. A communication problem is often at fault for low libido, so try discussing your partner’s feelings and frustrations. While someone may not feel appreciated, neglected, or angry, often this may be simply due to not understanding the other partner’s struggle with ADD/ADHD symptoms.
Also be aware of time of day. Even if your partner is taking medicine or natural remedies to address ADD/ADHD, it is possible by evening, the dosage has worn off. Discuss adjusting the dosage schedule or making time for intimacy when both partners are at their mental and physical peak.
There is a wide range of natural aphrodisiacs available to help awaken and improve sexual desire and functioning in both men and women. Eleutherococcus senticosis (Siberian Ginseng) is an overall system tonic for men and can help to improve low energy levels, performance and stamina. Smilax ornata (Sarsaparilla) is used as a tonic to assist female sexual functioning and also as a rejuvenating tonic.
Natural remedies can also help to support the nervous system and to keep nerves settled and soothed – to enable us to cope more easily with the everyday stresses and therefore support understanding and facilitate a balanced mood, essential for open communication.
Stress levels can also affect nervous system health and cause us to feel irritable, ‘snappy’, worried and generally out of sorts. Passiflora incarnata, (aptly known also as Passion Flower) is regarded by traditional herbalists for its soothing properties and as a general nerve tonic.
PureCalm™ works quickly to facilitate a calmed mood and soothed nerves.
Learning to talk about your feelings can also prevent you from ‘bottling up’ emotions and will contribute to ongoing emotional health… for both you and your partner!